BETHANY UNRAVELLING

 
 
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  • Bethany

Plenty

At Least

I can vacuum

Even if I can’t wash the floors today

At Least

I can make some salad

Even if I can’t cook an actual meal today

Leaves in a bowl with simple dressing

Otherwise I am too tired to make lunch

A bad sign


At Least

I can go for a walk

Even if I can’t run or go to the gym today

At Least

My dog will be happy

At least 

I can put the dishes on the counter

Even if I can’t wash them today 

At Least

I can get out of bed

Even if it’s only to lie on the couch

Doomscrolling

Because when I vacuum

I have kept my house from utter decay

It’s enough for today

Because when I make a salad

I have eaten a vegetable

It’s enough for this meal

Because when I walk

I feel the sun on my face

And laugh at my dog frolicking suddenly in the grass

It’s enough for this moment

Because when I put the dishes on the counter

I help myself wash them tomorrow

It’s enough for the future


When I only have the energy for one thing

I must choose wisely

I open my eyes and think

At Least

Don’t let it win so early in the day

When I get out of bed

Then, oh, then I am at the peak of optimism

I have done the first thing of the day

A day in which I will tell myself

“Just this one thing, then you can rest. Just one more thing. Think of the dog.” 

Over and over

A mantra

And I know that all these At Leasts

Will tick by, will add up

Even as time feels like unbearably slow

And each day an unsolvable equation 


I trust, quietly

That one day I will realize that each At Least has

Led me back to myself. 

To love. 

To brighter days. 

It’s enough for right now,

Whatever I’m doing

At Least is more than enough

It is Plenty.

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